an update.

it has been quite some time since i last provided you an update.  and i'm here to tell you - there is reason for this absence.  the reason(s) in chronological order:

1 -  the virgin "did I mention I have Crohns?" guy
2 -  the friend-of-the-coworker (AKA married dude) 
2 -  the return of the badboy


i am well aware that these are not really reasons, but boys.  but isn't that the best reason ever?  i have been living in the awkward middleground that is singleness for quite some time now and lately, i have been calling into question my own ability to attract guys who i want to date and be serious with.  this ability appears to be non-existent - i love bad, bad boys. boys who you don't want to take home to your family.  boys who don't call you back. 

so after my latest disasterous bout of badboy, i decided that i should take this realization that i am attracting the wrong kind of boy and once again, try for the good.   enter my roomie, who sets me up immediately with an old coworker.  he's tall and nice and smart, she says.  he is a good person, a Finance guy. oh, and did we mention he's a virgin? yep. 

i must admit, i was intrigued.  he's in his late 20s, i saw his facebook profile picture - he's cute, and he's got a good future ahead of him.  i am assured by ms. roomie that he is social and friendly...and her guess is that he just has never had the right opportunity.  good guys, apparently, wait for an act of god before performing a deadly sin. 

so i decided to go on a Sunday brunch date with the virgin. and saw why he was still a virgin.  homeboy is rake thin.  tall and thin. and while i understand this works for some ladies, it does not work for this one.  but i gave it the benefit of the doubt, enjoyed brunch and the company, and decided that nice guys deserve a date (and a break) sometimes. 

and when the virgin asked if we could go to a movie that week, i said yes.   so off we went to an old school theatre downtown right before Halloween to see an old horror classic and as we sit settle into our seats and wait for the film to start,  he throws out the most ridiculous and TMI (def'n - acronym, too much information) statement i have ever heard on a second date - "did i mention i have crohns?" 

and wow.  obviously my first thought is poor guy.  my next thought is, well that's why he's so skinny. how does someone react to a statement like this?  i felt horrible and mumbled that i was sorry to hear that...blah blah blah...please get me the hell out of here.  that's when i also looked down and saw that his thighs were skinnier than mine.

deal breaker. total deal breaker.  trust me, the crohns i could handle, the TMI i could chalk up as nerves, but the thighs?  no way. it was done right then and there.  that's my thing. a dude's gotta have bigger thighs.  anything else is just unnatural.


and so after the movie, i broke things off with the virgin TIMI guy.  and went on to warding off the friend-of-a-coworker.  he's married and older and works for a company i really, really want to work for some day.  and he likes me. very much.  he IMs me every day and it's relentless.  it has gone from innocent to not innocent at all.  and all the while this is going on, badboy comes back on the scene.


turns out he wasn't uninterested, he's just bad.  he doesn't want dates and movie nights, he wants sex, motorcycles, and cigarettes.  so i had my way with him on my own terms (read: great round 2 sex) and felt that at least i remembered all of it this time, and he seemed very satisfied.  that badass bust made me call into question my "abilities" and made me feel that perhaps i wasn't desirable.  why else would he not want to see me again.  oh yeah, he's the badboy.


i see the badboy and i continuing a professional and friendly front at work, but i think i'm done.  he's not what i want.  he is not good for the ego, or the soul.  

after the badboy realization, it appeared that the whole friend-of-the-colleague chatting sessions were getting more racy (on his end) and very inappropriate messages.  especially while he was away on business this week.  he recorded, yes recorded, the most sexual messages i have heard.  it was like phone sex, but a recording.  it made me blush, laugh, and tingly all at the same time.  and that should not have been the case.  this guy should not be doing this.  he's married and has 2 kids.  not cool dude, not cool.  and here i was almost encouraging it.


so i slapped myself out of my egoistic, attention-seeking frame of mind and told him to stop. and he kinda has.  kinda.  there are no more recordings, but there is certainly still a lot of messaging and attention.   

is this bad? probably.  
but i can't cut all bad out of my life, where's the fun in that?