the one with a motorcycle

when i was a little girl, my mother told me a story that made me forever terrified of anything to do with motorcycles. i will spare you the gruesome details of a story involving an accident, a motorcycle, and a paramedic (my mom's cousin) - but it was terrible and incredibly impressionable. 

so, i grew up with the forced understanding that motorcycles were bad.

in fact, it was also the people who drove motorcycles, she said, who were bad - i believe my mother even once when so far as to comment, "boys who drive motorcycles have loose morals."


i have never been remotely interested in anything to do with motorcycles until i accidently stumbled upon a cute boy who works in my building.  and he just so happens to own a motorcycle.


he is bad.
and not just because he owns a motorcycle - he has this whole badass mantra that i can't put a finger on. and i like it.  he is funny, sometimes crude, and calls it like it is.  he is refreshing and provides an excellent distraction during my day.  but he owns a motorycle, and that is bad.

but i'm beginning to think that bad is the new good.

he has offered to take me on my first motorcycle ride too many times to recall and i have turned him down each time.  his reactions to my fear have been both hilarious and understandable. and i like his teasing - it's bad and good all at the same time.

and now The One With a Motorcycle has asked me out for dinner on Friday.
and i said yes, on the condition that we travel in a vehicle that has doors and windows.

but this brings me to the question - why?  why am i going for a badass again?  why am i wasting my time with a boy who is often rude but shows signs of goodness? i sometimes think it's because i see a glimmer of good AND the fact that i am drawn to situations where i like the boy more than he likes me.

i like the chase. i like the butterflies. i like the unknowns and it appeals to me in ways that i can't explain.  my fear of motorcyles is deeply rooted - they are scary and bad, it gives me butterflies just looking at one. but in a weird way, i think i am drawn to them and attracted to their power. 

almost like the feeling i get with a bad boy.
and now i have found a bad boy WITH a motorcycle.
...this should be interesting.