Friday, November 26, 2010

found.

i have always maintained that i would never settle.
i have been lucky enough to surround myself in love and loving couples my whole life - first with my beautiful parents who taught me that long lasting love and respect is possible...and in later years, with couples who value and adore each other beyond my wildest dreams.  it has been both an incredible yet frustrating experience to witness such love as i stood on the sidelines waiting to find my own butterflies.  my own person to give me that love and affection i so desperately wanted. so i vowed to never, ever, settle.

so i searched, and well, searched i did. through an endless barage of bad dates and even worse relationships.  to the point where i was so upset and frustrated that i thought maybe i was the anomoly - that i was the forever singleton who would celebrate and appreciate the love around me, but never have love to call my own.

until now.
until AB.

i have found the butterflies that i had been looking for.  that i had been hoping for.  when i felt my most lost, he found me.  i quite literally have been found and in that process, discovered the butterflies only dreams could be made of.  my dreams, in fact.

he makes me feel special everyday and he has this amazing ability to lift my spirits by just smiling.  he tells me he loves waking up beside me in the morning and when we kiss, he kisses me like i'm the only thing that matters. 

i know it is early on, but i have been through enough almost-butterflies, lust, thrust, and smitten-ness to know that this is different.  this is beyond any of that.  this is soul-lust and brain-thrust and this is real.  and for me, real never constituted romantic.  but it is more romantic than i ever imagined.  AB has pushed me into a reality of existence i never thought possible - one where a relationship is both a friendship and lovership.  one where support and kindness can be better than thrills and orgasms.   and while the orgasms are ever present, they are but a mere side dish to a wonderful main dish that makes me swoon with every bite.

we search each and every day to find experiences and thrills that bring us to a new place.  that enable us to brag to our friends about said moments - moments that help us grow and understand ourselves a little better.  i never thought i would find an experience like AB.  that i would find a person who so closely matched everything i could have ever asked for in a partner, lover, or friend. 

but i did.
and i couldn't be more happier to be found.

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